When Coco Moon mom Sheryl gave nascence to her son, Boogie, she found that some of her friends and family unit weren't sure what to say. Boogie is 1 of 6,000 babies in the US born every year with Down Syndrome, and rather than hearing "Congratulations! and "Welcome to the world!", Sheryl heard messages of sympathy and regret.
Today on World Down's syndrome Twenty-four hour period, we want to celebrate families who have children with Down syndrome by sharing Sheryl's experience and tips for making new parents feel welcomed and supported.
We loved learning through her journey and are and so grateful for her generosity in sharing her experiences with us. Read on to hear her thoughts on the best way to respond when a friend or family unit member tells you their new infant has Down Syndrome :
What is the best way to respond when a friend/family member tells you their new baby has Down's syndrome (DS)?
We all accept unlike backgrounds, life experiences, and ways we procedure things. Something ane parent says to another parent that was extremely encouraging and uplifting might be devastating for others. There is no perfect formula, only here is a general guide: ⠀
THINGS PARENTS WOULD Honey TO HEAR
- "Congratulations!" Your friend/family unit fellow member is welcoming a new babe. Telling them congratulations like you would to any new parent shows credence, which is and so important to new parents. It was really scary for united states of america to tell family unit and friends that our little guy had DS. We were so afraid of how the earth would accept him. Hearing things like "Congratulations," "Nosotros only love him so much," and "Gosh, he is just so cute" was just what my little momma centre needed.
- Just similar any new babe, compliment parents on how beautiful and amazing their child is. Telling a parent how cute their kid is reminds them that their infant with DS is a baby first of foremost, and all babies are cute. It might seem superficial only this was HUGE for me. I was and so worried people would come across Boogie and guess him only on his looks, or love him less and non accept him. Merely he gets naught but dear from our friends and family unit.
- Ask normal questions like y'all would ask whatsoever new parent: how is he/she feeding, are they sleeping, can I see photos, etc. New parents want to know that their child is accepted and loved. This also shows yous are generally interested in how the child is doing.
- Remember that actions speak louder than words. When family and friends do things, it makes more of an impact than words can. Help out with babysitting, practice chores around the house, offer to melt, expect up information, and merely be available. The little things our family unit and friends do hateful and so much to us. A friend that makes an effort and wants to assist, support, and acquire with you is huge.
- Enquire to concord that little bundle of joy! This may seem odd, merely some people are afraid to agree new babies, especially with DS. Rise above the fear and ask to hold and become to know him/her. Being excited for your friend'south new one means so much. I hold beloved all the friends who were then excited and loving to our little man. Plus it gave this momma a pause.
Even the kindness of a stranger means a lot. I met an amazing momma at the drome once when I was traveling from Maui to Portland alone. She was then kind and helpful, and she fifty-fifty offered to hold him so I could pump & go to the bathroom. Her trivial act of kindness made me cry.
THINGS PARENTS MAY NOT Want TO HEAR
- "Distressing". More like pitiful, not sorry! We don't want to hear anything that could convey compassion. This makes our child seem like a burden. When we found out Boogie had DS, our doctors made information technology seem like it was such a bad thing. When someone says pitiful, it takes away just how special Boogie is.
Instead enquire, "How are you handling the diagnosis?". If your friend is having a crude fourth dimension with it, admit any feeling or emotion your friend may be having and offer honey and back up. Just being a shoulder they can lean on and non be judged for their feelings goes a long fashion. Tell your friend that you are bachelor if they need to talk. You lot can admit you don't know what to say, merely y'all beloved them and desire to learn with them.
- "How severely is your kid affected?" I am embarrassed to admit that when we got Boogie's diagnosis, I looked up if in that location were dissimilar 'levels' of DS. At that place aren't - you either accept it or you don't.
- "God gives special children to special parents". This is something that some parents may honey hearing, but when I hear this I cringe and think, "So you think you're not special?" It's a grey area.
- "You are strong." This may be another grey expanse, but I don't think we are stronger than the next person. We only do what nosotros have to do to go past.
- "I will pray God heals your child." Please pray for any of his illnesses, or medical weather, but Practice Non offer to pray to heal my child from Down's syndrome. It's non an illness, it's a genetic condition - you can't catch it.
- Don't ignore the diagnosis. I empathize that people are uncomfortable and agape to say something wrong. But by doing this you tin make a parent feel isolated and alone. Treat their child like any other child you meet, with beloved and excitement for who they are.
- Avert forcing your opinions or doing anything that will destabilize parents' fragile support. Every bit parents, we survive the stressful times by leaning on the ones nosotros love and trust. Fourth dimension heals the deepest emotional wounds, simply time spent supported past good friends will help them heal all the quicker. But be in that location for them and offer your support.
To larn more nearly Sheryl's adorable boy Boogie, please give her a follow on Instagram @sherylpasamonte.
How to Support Friend After Downs Syndrome Baby Diagnosis
Source: https://cocomoonhawaii.com/blogs/blog/celebrating-world-down-syndrome-awareness-day
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